Untitled Needs a title!
by losingmyself84
Summary: It's only human to be self-conscious, but Bella had never really considered how she looked until she met Edward. Not only is it affecting her, but its starting to affect Edward. Will changing herself satisfy him or will it push him further away? BxE


**Author's Note:**

**When reading, please keep in mind that although Stephenie's Bella is an exceptional example of a "different" human being, I'm attempting to relate her character to what WE know as reality and to what (I'm sure) most of us have felt. **

**I believe that any good story should have a proper plotline and that if its written well, anything romantic or sexual in nature should easily fall within that story without changing its tone or point. That being said, there will be some buildup in this story so if you enjoy reading stories that have a plot and a purpose, I hope you enjoy this one.**

**Please read and review, always appreciated and always credited at the beginning of the next posted chapter. Takes place at the end of Eclipse.**

I yawned and rolled over with my eyes closed, back into Edwards arms. I took a deep breath in, smiling to myself as I felt his arms tighten around me.

"How did you sleep?" his voice was quiet and reserved.

I opened my eyes slowly and realized it was still fairly dark in the room. I shifted my gaze towards Edward's face and met his warm eyes. He smiled down at me and kissed my forehead quickly, running his hand over my hair and resting it on my neck.

"Wonderfully." I snaked my hand up towards him and ran my fingers down his jaw to the front of his face, tipping his mouth down to me for a quick, but soft kiss.

Last night had been a late one and I had ended up falling asleep in Edward's bed around midnight. Alice had mentioned to Charlie that I might be out late and not be able to come home. He had smiled and told me not to worry about it, that he would see me tomorrow. Only Alice could work my father like putty in her hands.

Edward was looking down at me with a questioning look and I smiled brightly up at him and pecked him on the chin. I stretched out my legs and Edward wrapped his around mine and pulled them closer. He sighed contentedly and wrapped his other arm around my body, running his cold fingertips up and down my hot back.

"That's so nice… I'm surprised I'm actually hot in this bed. Normally you keep the temperature nice and cold." I winked up at him and he chuckled at me, shaking his head.

"That's why I bought you the best down filled comforter that they sell and the warmest blankets available." He leaned down and pressed his cold lips to mine again with a sense of urgency. My body pushed me to meet him halfway but I pulled myself back and withdrew from his iron grip just a little. He looked down at me, his face almost sad.

"I need a human moment Edward. Just time for a shower. Is that okay?"

"You never need to ask Bella; whatever you need, you can have." He kissed my forehead again and gently rolled me out of his arms. I sat up and swung my legs off the side of the bed and out from under the covers, jumped the two feet down from his massive bed and padded toward the bathroom in sock feet.

"Bella?"

I turned around at the doorframe and stretched my arms up into the air, cocking my head to the side in response to his questioning tone. The cold air on my skin was nice and refreshing and I was looking forward to a nice clean shower and clean clothes too.

He looked directly into my eyes for a moment, his face neither sad nor happy. After a moment, he seemed to snap himself out of it and a smile broke out across his face. I dropped my arms from the air to my sides and raised my eyebrow at him. He shook his head at me, still smiling.

"Do you want something for breakfast? Or would you rather eat at home?"

"Oh… well I think Alice has more she wants me to do with her today for the wedding before Renee arrives so here is fine. Do you have food? I don't want you running out just to accommodate the human." I smirked at him as I reminded him of the one huge difference between the two of us: mortality.

"It's fine, Alice went shopping a few days ago just for you. I'll get her and we'll whip something up. Take your time in the shower, I'll be here when you're done."

I nodded at him and turned around, shutting the bathroom door. I turned on the shower handles and let the water heat up just a bit, sliding my pajama pants to the floor and pulling my tank top over my head and adding it to the growing pile on the floor. I walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a huge white fluffy towel, throwing it over the door of the glass shower and I turned to the mirror.

I had never really had self-esteem issues until I met Edward. Body image and primping weren't really my deal. I had always preferred to go without makeup, in comfortable clothing whenever possible. But Edward was… well… beautiful. Edward and his entire family were strikingly gorgeous, so much so that I stuck out like a sore thumb when I was with them.

I sighed at my reflection in the mirror, standing in a bra and underwear. I was definitely not the kind of girl who took the time to match; my ratty grey bra and green and pink striped underwear were not meant to go together at all. I tilted my head and scrutinized myself in the mirror some more. Did I really care about matching underwear? I turned my head back up and looked at myself dead on – did Edward care? Would he be more attracted to me and my body if I took the time to look… well, presentable?

I knew I wasn't unattractive; hearing what the other boys at school had thought of me and were still thinking about me, thanks to Edward, made me realize that I couldn't be that bad looking if a bunch of high school boys were lusting after me. I wasn't interested, but it had boosted my self-esteem higher for the time being. And then I had seen my prom pictures with Edward.

He had looked absolutely suave in his black tux. His skin had almost glowed in the light and his perfect smile just made him seem that more imaginary than he already was. And then there was me. If you covered up Edward in the photograph, I looked flawless - for me. My hair was flowing down in loose curls, my dress fit me perfectly and the color was nice against my skin. I looked put together and it was nice to see that I really could clean up nicely. For a little while it had given me hope that I would look as good on our wedding day as I did then. And then I had focused on the two of us together in the photograph. I was absolutely mortified.

With Edwards effortless perfection, my human version of perfection looked positively hopeless. All of a sudden I didn't look flawless anymore. My skin looked flat, my smile looked fake, and I looked simply ordinary. I had realized that I would never, ever look good next to Edward – and I had feared getting older than him and having a significant age difference make me look like his mother when really, I didn't look all that great with him now.

I took another deep breath in and watched my chest fall and rise in the mirror. I was so disappointed in myself where I had never been before. Recently, I had started to spend so much time envisioning myself as a different person; dressing differently, styling my hair differently and wearing makeup. I liked what I saw in my head, but not what I saw in the mirror.

I realized that the water had still been running all this time and that Edward would soon think I had collapsed in the shower. How embarrassing that would be! I quickly took off my bra and underwear, avoiding my reflection in the mirror and stepped into the now warm shower, letting the water soak my hair through. I sighed to myself, pumping shampoo into my hands and then running them through my hair quickly, lathering up and then letting the suds rinse out of my long hair. I quickly conditioned my hair and washed my body down, shutting off the water and wrapping the big towel around my body.

I wiped some of the fog off the mirror so that I could see my face. A loud knocking startled me and made me jump.

"Bella? Are you okay? You've been in there for a while."

I stepped over and opened up the door and found myself face to face with Edward. I smiled up at him and reached for the clothes that were in his hands. I flushed at the sight of him carrying one of my many plain white bras and a random pair of pink underwear and stuffed them under my arm, my other hand holding up my towel.

"Yeah, the shower was nice and relaxing. I just need to get dressed and I'll be out in a sec."

Edward narrowed his eyes at me.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look… troubled."

I nodded up at him with a half smile on my face and shooed him away from the bathroom door, shutting it gently so that I could change in private.

**Please read and review (good, bad or ugly, they're all welcome) – I'm not sure whether I should continue with this story or not. It also doesn't have a title yet, so suggestions are MORE than welcome :)**


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